Pure Protein!

Diet is a bad word now. Eating plan is what they call them these days. Back when I was ten (and chubby), I went to Weight Watchers, and dieting was harder back then--everything was harder back then--with the unappealing choices of diet 7-Up or celery as snacks. Trying to follow my little diet back in the day, I couldn't take it, and I would sneak to the shopping center to shoplift chocolate bars or buy these big fudge balls, covered with chocolate sprinkles, at the bakery. Once as I was doing so, in the fourth grade, I bumped into none other than my father at the shopping center. I had the fudge ball in hand, and he was very very disappointed, especially since sending me to Weight Watchers had been his bright idea. No matter how good I was at calculating the points for the different food offerings on the diet, and buying my own little packages of edibles, chocolate always did me in.

But ain't life grand in the 21st century? Now fat people have a whole industry offering them treats to help them skinny down. And I have discovered something delectable. It is PURE PROTEIN! (I read the package, so I know this.) It has 20 grams or protein in a little 4 oz bar. And, get this, it comes in chocolate fudge, or chocolate-chip cookie dough flavors. And the cookie dough tastes almost like real cookie dough, with just a slight aftertaste of chalk. So instead of sneaking mouthfuls from a tube of cookie dough for your lunch, you can eat one of these bars, and you get all that nice protein.

Braving the firemen at the gym, and my PURE PROTEIN are working, so don't knock them. I have lost five pounds! No, don't ask how many more pounds I have to go.